Thursday, March 19, 2015

The Motherhood Pact of Secrecy

Have you ever been afraid to go on a roller coaster? and your friends trick you by telling you it’s not bad at all? And then when you are stuck in it, at the very top, they turn around and laugh at you because it is actually worse than you have ever imagined? Well, may be the roller coaster example doesn't apply to you, but you get the gist, right?

I have a theory: I think moms take an oath, a pact of secrecy, not to tell anybody about how difficult motherhood really is. From pregnancy, to the oh-so-horrific birth, to the weeks and months to come with a newborn.

“Motherhood sometimes sucks, and this is why” – I wish someone had said that to me when I asked, instead of the repetitive “it’s hard to explain”. Let’s be honest, as if there was nothing to tell people! It is not a crime to admit you didn’t enjoy breastfeeding, or that you didn’t like the newborn stage, or that after 6 months you are still struggling with the lack of sleep.  Why don’t we honestly talk about it?

Read: The odyssey of his first night alone 

I am not stupid, I knew motherhood wasn’t going to be easy, and I know everyone is different, but let’s start sharing! I wish women feel more comfortable talking about it. I mean, REALLY talking about it.

So next time someone asks you, don’t try to mask it by pointing at that tiny human giving you those toothless smiles, just tell them as it is. At the end of the day, they are asking you for a reason, don’t waste their time. Think about it as the Sisterhood of Motherhood, where moms get the support they need to go through it.

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